(Adapted from an article by Kevin K. Logghe in the March/April 2002 issue of Christian Social Action, a magazine of the General Board of Church and Society, The United Methodist Church)
In the wake of September 11, many Christians in the United States have wanted to learn more about the beliefs and traditions of our Muslim neighbors– at home and in other countries. We are realizing that it is important to talk with people of other faiths, and learn about their beliefs. However, most Americans aren't rushing to their neighbors to discuss religion. Social etiquette says religion is a taboo subject in "polite company," along with money and politics.
We no longer have the luxury of ignoring religion as a topic of conversation. To understand what is happening in our world, we must discuss religion and make connections across faith lines. Thoughts like the following prevent us from learning how to talk with each other in new ways:
Here are some guidelines for communicating with others which may help reduce your fear and put the other person at ease.
Understand the difference between "trying to explain" and "trying to convince."
Most of us in the West have been taught to be "critical thinkers." We learn to evaluate incoming information according to source, logic, and other factors. While this is a useful skill in determining our beliefs and charting our courses of action, it can be a barrier to information-gathering. We spend much of our "listening" time formulating responses in our minds or criticizing the logic and sources of what we are hearing. Very few of us can listen and criticize or formulate a response at the same time. Consciously practice a new way of listening. Listen to collect information. Analysis and debate can wait for another time.
When sharing information, make it clear that you are only giving information (explaining), not trying to convince or "convert". That will make it easier for the listener to lower their defenses and hear you.
Respect the importance of another's personal experience.
Many people of faith have had powerful spiritual experiences within the context of their religion. These experiences may vary in intensity and nature. They may be profoundly emotional or primarily intellectual. Remember that a person's religion is the highest expression of spiritual experience they have had (so far) in their lives. Knowing that, it becomes easier to understand why people cling to and protect their chosen religion so zealously.
Don't make assumptions about what they already know about your religion.
It is hard to imagine that anyone could spend much time in the US and not pick up a great deal of information about Christianity from the culture. But humans have a great ability to screen out information that we don't perceive as relevant to our lives. It is also useful to remember that much of the public discussion of religion is focused on disputes or extremism. For example, there is little useful information about the core of Christianity in the media coverage of the Branch Davidians at Waco or in reports of disputes about ordination of gays and lesbians. Yet, this is the kind of information non-Christians receive about Christianity. Similarly news articles focused on the extremist acts of September 11 or the Middle East conflicts, do not provide any basis for understanding the tenets of Islam or Judaism.
"A little knowledge can be dangerous thing." It is easy to develop an impression of a religion based on few if any facts. Most of us have scraps of information about various world religions. Invariably the information is taken out of context and can lead to some surprising (and often wildly inaccurate) conclusions. For example, Did you know that the concept of the Trinity prompts many other religions to see Christianity as a polytheistic religion?
When talking to people of other religions, invite them to set aside what they think they already know about Christianity or to share with you what they think they know and seek confirmation. Naturally, we need to be prepared to put aside the incorrect or partial information we may possess regarding their religion.
Don't assume that they know the history or doctrine of their own religion.
Reading a "Beginners Guide to Judaism, Islam (or another religion)", or even the sacred texts of the religion itself are a good way to start learning about another faith, but the knowledge we gain may not be that helpful in conversations. There is often a considerable difference between how a religion is described by its historians and theologians and how it is practiced by its members. If a Hindu read up on the history of the Protestant Reformation and then asked you how it impacts your religious life, what would you say? For most people the exact doctrines and history of their religion are not consciously connected to their day-to-day beliefs and practice. An easier way to understand religion's role in a person's life is to understand the way they make everyday decisions. Specific church history or doctrine seldom affect these decisions. Understanding their family or community is a better way to understand how they came to believe what they believe.
If you hear something that doesn't make sense, you probably need more information.
Many of us inherit the particular faith traditions we practice. We may know the worship style that is most appealing to us, without knowing its underlying religious symbolism. It is hard to ask someone to explain their religion in a way that make sense to us when we probably cannot explain our own. If we are trying to gain an understanding of another religion, we must sensitively ask thoughtful questions.
At times we would rather not question what we don't understand for fear that we would offend or look stupid or seem insensitive. But asking questions is the only way to bridge the gap between our own assumptions and a clearer understanding of the faithful participant's experience. Becoming able and willing to ask questions about what we don't understand is what transforms impersonal information into meaningful dialogue with the potential to create personal connections and respect for the other person's religion.
Every evil action provides the opportunity for a greater good if we are willing to search for it and bring it to pass. The horrific acts of the recent past can move us past the fears that prevent us from talking about the beliefs that unite and divide. If we can begin to listen as well as talk, then perhaps those events can become a gateway to a better world.
Kevin Logghe, a lay person living in suburban Washington, D.C., works in the field of Human Resource Consulting, facilitating seminars on a variety of subjects including interpersonal communications. He studied philosophy and theology through The University of the South in Sewanee and Christ Church College - Oxford.
Photo Credit: copyright © Diana Barnett, September 2001, Used by permission. The picture(s) on this page was taken in Manhattan within a week after the collapse of the World Trade Center. Click on the photo to see a larger version.
