Couple Addresses Children's Needs in New York

By Linda Bloom

The Rev. Donald and Barbara Weaver know, from firsthand experience, how children react to tragedy. From the shooting spree at Columbine High School in Colorado to the ethnic war in Bosnia to the turmoil among African countries, the United Methodist couple from Buffalo, N.Y., has traveled the world to teach others how to reach out to the children who survive.

On Sept. 14, three days after the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center, the Weavers arrived in Manhattan. They have been working in the child care area of the victims' service center at Pier 94. The center provides an avenue for needs such as emergency cash, long-term financial support, counseling and legal services.

The Weavers were dispatched through the Church of the Brethren, which operates the Child Aviation Incident Response (CAIR), in cooperation with the American Red Cross. CAIR is a segment of the Aviation Incident Response team developed as a result of federal legislation passed in 1996. The couple's stint at Pier 94 ends on Sept. 24, but they remain available for further assignments.

In a Sept. 23 interview, after attending a worship service at the United Methodist Church of St. Paul and St. Andrew, the Rev. Weaver talked about how impressed he was with the city's rally after the attack. "I've never seen an area come together in the way that they have here," he added.

He noted the importance of the church's connectional system. "This is an international incident," he said. "We have heard from people all over the world. They know this is not a New York, a Washington D.C. or a Pennsylvania incident."

The need to help children process the tragedy, both in New York and elsewhere, remains. "For years, we felt children did just fine (after a tragedy)," Mrs. Weaver explained. "Then we noticed regressive behavior and realized they too need an opportunity to grieve, and children grieve differently than we do."

Common concerns among children are that the tragic event will occur again; that someone they love will be injured or die; that they themselves will be injured or die; or that they will be separated from their family and left alone.

A return to normalcy is a very important coping mechanism for children and youth, Mrs. Weaver stressed. As an example, she pointed to the aftermath of Hurricane Andrew, when the daily routines of many children were thrown into chaos and often never re-established. After a period, the suicide rate among youth rose considerably, she said.

"Activities for youth need to continue," Rev. Weaver added. "Kids don't want to talk about it all the time, but they at least need the opportunity to be together."

Other children who need attention now and in the future are those who must say goodbye to a parent called to military service. The Weavers, who have trained many United Methodists and others across the country, hope people with such experience will volunteer to train those in their communities, such as teachers and scout leaders, who interact with children on a regular basis.

The United Methodist Committee on Relief (UMCOR) is planning a national response to the need for training. Said Mrs. Weaver: "One of the wonderful things about UMCOR's ministry with children is it will help them bend, not break, in times of trouble."

UMCOR 9/11 Update September 2004: UMCOR's response to the aftermath of September 11 continues. We thank are thankful for all of contributions that United Methodists and others have so generously given.

September 24, 2001