Spiritual Live Retreats Enrich AIDS Ministries

"This retreat has shown me that the church can care. I knew that God had not forgotten me. Now, I know that God's people have not forgotten me either."

This comment was made last summer during a retreat for Persons living with AIDS (PLWAs). It verbalizes the feeling of many PLWAs: the church has forgotten me, the church thinks I am unworthy, the church is afraid of me, the church has abandoned me because they think I need to be punished. WHAT IS THE CHURCH? Among its many characteristics, it is assumed to be a group of people meeting together for mutual support and encouragement as everyone tries to grow in their faith. It is supposed to be a welcoming place, open to all a place of refuge and peace, a place of love and affirmation. The church, however, has not been a place of support, encouragement, love and affirmation for too many PLWAs. They are our modern-day lepers outcasts, viewed as unclean and untouchable, unwelcome and rejected by families, friends, employers and the church.

Our model for undertaking this ministry of compassion is Jesus. He walked among and ministered directly to the outcasts of the world, the lepers, touching them, loving them, making them feel accepted and worthy. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus' words speak to us: "My mother and brother are those who hear God's word and put it into practice." He was saying that in order to be part of Jesus' family, the family of the faithful, we need to listen to and heed God's prompting for compassion.

In late 1987, inspired by the success of a PLWA retreat held in the Troy Annual Conference in upstate New York, a group of people began talking about holding similar retreats in the California- Pacific Annual Conference. The Conference Outdoor Ministries staff selected two persons to serve as retreat deans: The Rev. Nancy Hartzog (Riverside First UMC, and Director, Inland Empire Counseling Center) and E. Marie Wright-Self (Rolando UMC in San Diego and staff member, San Diego AIDS Chaplaincy Program of San Diego Ecumenical Conference). Both deans were also members of the Conference AIDS Ministries Task Force and had worked extensively with PLWAs in a variety of settings.

The planning process began in earnest in January 1988. Each dean made careful decisions about the exact target populations to be served at each retreat and about staff members. The first retreat served PLWAs and their caregivers or significant others. The second retreat served only PLWAs.

Each retreat was designed with an eye toward meeting the needs of the specific target population. The first retreat included many persons who were newly diagnosed or not diagnosed at all and therefore able to participate in a fairly routine schedule of activities. The second retreat population was further advanced in the syndrome of infections and needed a much more relaxed pace with plenty of flexibility in the schedule. The early planning group for the first retreat included both persons who had been diagnosed and persons who were well, while the early planning group for the second was recruited from a group of PLWAs with whom the dean was working. The assistance from diagnosed persons was invaluable: their input helped in the creation of retreats that addressed issues they felt were important to people in their unique situation. Issues identified included these:

1. The need for caring, supportive community;
2. The need to feel valued and valuable to others;
3. The need for a tranquil, safe place in which to reflect, clarify and assimilate their radically- altered life circumstance;
4. The need to reconnect their spiritual roots and begin to work intentionally on spiritual journeys and resources.

Included in both retreat designs were opportunities for worship, group and individual sharing/discussion, hiking, swimming, workshops on journaling, massage, stress-reduction techniques, Bible study, campfires, videos, crafts. To allow for a wide variety of faith backgrounds, religious input was intentionally as ecumenically inclusive as possible. Ordained clergy included United Methodist ministers and Catholic priests, and participation from everyone was encouraged as worship and meditation times were designed into the retreats.

The following pages are taken from the staff handbook prepared for the San Diego retreat. They contain basic information and may prove useful to other groups wishing to plan similar events.

"Strength for the Journey"

Retreat Staff Handbook - Pg. 1

(The first two pages of the Staff Handbook were written by Rev. Lambert W. All who was then the Director of the Conference Camp Office. They were intended as the draft for letters and flyers and were included in the STAFF HANDBOOK for informational and educational purposes.)

The Division of Outdoor Ministry of the California-Pacific Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church is sponsoring two retreats for persons with HIV disease during the summer of 1988.

1. Retreat #1 at Camp Colby during the period July 26 - 30, to serve the greater Los Angeles area.
2. Retreat #2 at Camp Virginia during the period August 20 - September 1, to serve the San Diego area and part of Orange County.

The staff shall be the responsibility of the United Methodist Church. The United Methodist Church will provide a Dean to be in charge and shall assist in recruiting the balance of staff.

The program and specific activities of the two retreats will be developed in direct consultation with 6 - 8 PLWAs beginning about three to four months prior to the event.

Purposes

1. We will provide a safe and loving space where participants may be fully themselves without fear and inhibition.
2. We will provide an environment of a healing community where participants may experience a time to relax, meditate and rest in an area away from their regular routines.
3. We will provide a setting to relieve isolation from being and feeling alone, where PLWAs may interact with people in a caring community.
4. We will empower PLWAs by providing a setting for participants to help determine and select the resources and content of a retreat experience.
5. We will provide a time that shall be structured in an open and loose way to allow freedom of participants to choose available options. (This may include: nature study, hiking, swimming, volleyball, worship, campfire, Bible Study, meditation, journal writing, message, small group discussion. PLWAs will help in selecting and determining what will be offered.)
6. We will provide an opportunity to celebrate the gift of life and share together in affirming the beauty and joy of living.

Staff Handbook - Pg. 2

We wish to extend an invitation to other support and caring groups or agencies to join with us in this endeavor. We welcome input regarding ideas and resources from other groups in the Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Diego areas. We also extend an invitation to you to be a cosponsor of the two events.

These two retreat experiences shall be open to anyone without regard to age, race, sex, or sexual orientation. The participants shall include those with an AIDS clinical diagnosis and those are HIV Positive.

We welcome sources of financial support in order to offer persons with HIV disease full scholarship assistance.

We welcome names of persons who would like to be a part of the staff. This specifically includes social workers, medical personnel, counselors and other human service personnel.

We welcome assistance recruiting and publicizing PLWAs to join with us in this exciting ministry.

We are hoping that we can make a continued offering to other events after these two events that may take place as weekend retreats or mid-week get away times.

Staff Handbook - Pg. 3

This page in the handbook offered a site map, including location of all of the buildings, trails, roads, campfire area and recreation areas.

Staff Handbook - Pg. 4

All Staff

1. Get yourself established in your cabin and bunk space.
2. Check your cabin for any damage from previous user groups (fire extinguishers should read in the "charged" zone, no broken cabin windows or damaged screens, no graffiti, mattresses intact and on bunks, etc.). If any damages are noticed, please make a list and give it to the Dean this will avoid our group being charged for damages at the close of the retreat.
3. Attend all staff meetings.
4. Be ready to spend lots of time listening to each other and our guests.
5. Be present for all meals.
6. Be familiar with the Camp Rules and refer any problems to the Dean immediately.
7. Medical/First Aid situations are to be referred to the Retreat Nurse.
8. HAVE FUN!!!

Staff Handbook - Pg. 5

Staff Time

Sunday, August 28, 1988

2:00 PM Hello! So glad you're here! Choose your cabin and get moved in. Wander around and check out the site.

4:00 PM Gather in Dining Hall for a Get Acquainted Time. Compose your self-portrait.

5:30 PM Dinner

6:30 PM More getting acquainted for the late arrivals. Individual introductions.

7:00 PM Opening worship

7:30 PM Review plans

7:45 PM Cabin assignments for our guests/ Cabin group color/ name tags/ make Cabin Group name lists

9:00 PM Closing circle

Staff Handbook - Pg. 6

Staff Time

Monday, August 29, 1988

8:00 AM Breakfast

9:00 AM Choose workshop sites

9:15 AM Make welcome banner for dining hall. Prepare registration table (name tags, participant notebooks, pens writing tablets) Prepare informational browsing table Prepare table games area/video area Prepare a large Daily Schedule and hang from dining hall Prepare a large "Camp Rules" sign and hang in dining hall

Deliver boxes of Kleenex to all cabins,

bathrooms and meeting areas

Decide on welcoming plans

10:30 AM Cabin hosts meet with Dean (to

discuss roles and what-to-do's)

Spiritual Directors meet to begin

planning Campfire

11:45 AM Lunch

12:15 PM Brush your teeth, RELAX, TAKE A DEEP BREATH and SAY YOUR PRAYERS

1:00 PM OUR GUESTS ARE ARRIVING!!

Staff Handbook - Pg. 7

Daily Schedule

8:00 AM Breakfast

9:15 AM Morning Celebration

10:00 AM Options

Tuesday: Journaling, Alternative Therapies

Wed.: Journaling, Stress Management/Meditation

NOON Lunch

1:00 PM Options

(Times, places, conveners announced daily)

1. Rest
2. Conversations
3. Table Games
4. Resource Table
5. Crafts
6. Hikes
7. Volleyball
8. Campfire Planning
9. Swimming Bible Study

5:00 PM Staff Meeting

6:00 PM Dinner

7:00 PM Free Time

8:00 PM Campfire/Evening Reflections

9:30 PM Late Nite Life Options: Videos, dance, table games, conversations, crafts, watch the campfire

11:00 PM Camp Quiet Observed

Staff Handbook - Pg. 8

Camp Rules

1. No smoking in the cabins or other buildings under any circumstances. Smoking permitted outside, in the area around the front of the Dining Hall, around the Pool and at the Campfire Circle ONLY.
2. Radios and Tape Players at personal use (LOW) volume, please.
3. No alcoholic beverages allowed.
4. No drugs allowed (except prescription).
5. Swimming pool will be open during announced hours only. THE LIFEGUARD IS IN CHARGE AT ALL TIMES.

Staff Handbook - Pg. 9

(The following provides descriptions of each staff position and the basic duties.)

Dean

1. The Buck Stops Here!
2. Listening
3. Communication with Camp Manager and Kitchen Staff
4. Guiding the entire retreat experience.
5. HAVE FUN!!
6. Other duties as assigned

Cabin Hosts

1. Helping guests feel welcome and making introductions
2. Listening
3. Explaining the retreat program
4. Enlisting cabin group participation in morning celebration/ campfire/ reflection times
5. Personal conversations and sharing
6. Keeping an ear to the ground for potential problems
7. Assistance with medication schedules as necessary
8. HAVING FUN!!!
9. Other duties as assigned

Community Outreach

1. Welcoming/ introductions/ explanations for arriving guests
2. Listening
3. Keeping an ear out for potential problems
4. Resourcing people: what's available, where to go, what to do for obtaining AIDS assistance in San Diego County
5. HAVE FUN!!!
6. Other duties as assigned

Spiritual Counselors

1. Listening
2. Interpretation of theological issues: guilt, forgiveness, love, sin, other matters
3. Maintaining a non-judgmental, non-proselytizing attitude
4. Discussion of theological/spiritual issues in groups and individually
5. Lead the worship times, with assistance from other staff and guests
6. Pastoral counseling
7. HAVE FUN!!!
8. Other duties as assigned

Chaplain to the Staff

1. Listening
2. Devotions/reflections during the staff meetings
3. Assistance with the staff meetings, at Dean's request
4. Mealtime devotions: lead, assist, assign
5. Late Nite Life Ringleader and Light Put-er-Outer
6. HAVE FUN!!!
7. Other duties as assigned

(The handbook included pages listing all workshops and workshop leaders, as well as the names of the music leaders. Most of these people were visitors, arriving only to do their program input and then leaving. The final two pages of the handbook contained a listing of suggestions on facilitating groups.)

Learnings from the Retreat Experience

1. It is imperative that PLWAs be involved in design and implementation of a retreat experience targeted to their population.
2. PLWAs have widely differing needs for rest due to differences in the viral progression between one individual and the next. Some persons who are part of the original design team may need to bow out and be replaced, yet, by the time of the retreat, may again be well enough to participate.
   Some retreat participants may find the retreat environment (terrain, group living, etc.) to be stressful and may need to be accommodated for extra rest. PLWAs who indicate interest in attending and sign up need to be regularly contacted to make certain that they remember the retreat date is arriving. Some may need to be reminded to reschedule medical appointments, etc.
3. Non-diagnosed staff members need to be persons who are comfortable working with PLWAs, and preferably have some history of contact and work with these special people.
4. The staff needs to have a time to be together and work together prior to the retreat. The staff for the first retreat did not have that time. The second retreat staff did. During post-retreat evaluations, it was apparent that the second retreat got off to a smoother start because of the time the staff had together.
5. There was a physician on staff for the first retreat who attended to the first aid issues. The nurse slated for the second retreat was unable to attend at the last minute, so the Dean, an LVN with years of camp nurse experience, filled in. This is not recommended! A retreat for PLWAs is an intense time and staff members might burnout if they are "doubling up" on roles.
6. The Chaplain to the Staff is an important position, which should be included if at all possible. This person need not be ordained, but should possess sensitivity to people and a willingness to be of support to each person on staff. It was a blessing for all of us to be able to relax and let the chaplain handle our spiritual refreshment at the staff meetings!
7. Workshop leaders can be persons on the staff or outside visitors. The site of the first retreat was remote, so the resource people were part of the entire retreat time. The San Diego retreat site was located 90 minutes from downtown San Diego, so workshop leaders were primarily visitors.
8. It is important for the music leader to be present for the entire retreat to build continuity and community among participants. Songs can be practiced at meals, as a part of devotions. Afternoon informal sing-alongs are fun. Singing around the campfire is an integral part of the retreat experience.
9. Program funds and scholarship assistance, as well as gifts-in-kind of food and transportation were obtained from a number of sources, including:

• many individual gifts of money, sodas, juices, snack items, vehicles, drivers and fuel
• Conference AIDS Ministries Task Force
• Conference Camps resources
• METRO Urban Ministries, San Diego District, UMC e. American Red Cross
• San Diego AIDS Project
• AIDS Project Los Angeles
• San Diego AIDS Assistance Fund
• Inland Empire AIDS Project
• San Diego AIDS Chaplaincy Program
  In some instances, formal funding applications for grant monies were made; in others, word-of-mouth and informal networking sufficed.

1. Retreat site facilities and terrain are areas for consideration and attention. Facilities should be handicapped-accessible to accommodate the differently-abled. The population at the first retreat seemed to be better able to cope with the hilly and rough outdoor environment, stairs and dirt paths to the cabins and bathrooms.
   The people at the second retreat had quite a bit of difficulty. Bathrooms must be readily available at all times and there must be a bathroom in or immediately adjacent to each sleeping area. Fire circle seating (cement and stone bench-type) was uncomfortable some type of padding would have been a "plus."

Annual Conferences Express Interest in Retreat Experiences for PLWAs

In response to an article published nationwide in the United Methodist Reporter ("AIDS Retreat-Healing through Love", by the Rev. Anne Broyles, Malibu, CA UMC co-pastor, March 24, 1989), letters have been received by the California-Pacific Annual Conference's AIDS Ministries Task Force from all over the country.

Each person who wrote expressed an interest in, and shared a longing for, such a retreat experience in his/her annual conference area. From Shreveport, LA; Vernon, TX; Tulsa, OK; Phoenix, AZ; Detroit, MI and Pittsburgh, PA have come requests for information about how to plan and implement retreats. A letter came from a PLWA who is employed with an AIDS service organization in which he stated:

"I . . . would like to (help) get more projects started in our area for people like me to get together . . . for support and fellowship . . . and to know that we are not alone in this battle."

Participants in the 1988 retreats were unanimously affirming in their comments on the post-retreat evaluation forms. They were grateful that the people (THE CHURCH!) cared enough about them to provide such an opportunity.

This comment from a participant seems to sum up the majority feeling: "This retreat has showed me that the Church can care. I knew that God had not forgotten me. Now, I know that God's people have not forgotten me either."

Informal, continuing support/friendship networks have developed among the people who attended. Some are regularly corresponding. Some get together for brunch, lunch, dinner, movies, walks on the beach and other times of sharing. When people are housebound or hospitalized, they are visited, called, sent cards and flowers. Four persons have died since the retreats and there were retreat friends in attendance and sometimes participating at each memorial/funeral service.

Staff members have been included in the support network, too. There is a strong sense of community, of being "family". Staffers had an opportunity to spend time with PLWAs extended, uninterrupted time a real blessing! They were able to share peoples' stories and journeys and watch miracles happen: poetry written to express deep feelings about self, family, nature, and faith; spiritual healings; awakenings to new insights about God and spiritual journeys.

This staffers' comment says it all: "The retreat has recharged me, rededicated me, renewed me. I came here to help others. Instead, they helped me! These four days were all about living with AIDS and enjoying each day and thanking God for our journey."

There are people affected by AIDS. There are people wanting to help. There are retreat designs available. Annual conferences can make the commitment to promote and deliver AIDS retreats. Annual conferences can lead the way in grassroots efforts to lead their people (the churches) toward the living out of Jesus' words: "My mothers and brothers (my family) are those who hear God's word and put it into practice." Annual conferences can respond in a positive fashion to the AIDS crisis through the AIDS Retreat experience.

E. Marie Wright-Self is Vice-Chair of the California-Pacific Annual Conference AIDS Ministries Task Force and a staff member of the AIDS Chaplaincy Program of the San Diego Ecumenical Conference. She regularly presents AIDS education programs in the secular and religious communities for groups of all ages. She is a member of Rolando United Methodist Church in San Diego.