| Helping Families to Heal | |||||||||||
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by Rev. Cynthia W. Sloan |
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A personal testimony on providing support to families living with addictions For National Recovery Month, the second article in our five-part series on key issues related to substance abuse focuses on offering support to families living with addictions. As a certified addiction counselor and educator, I was asked recently: “What do you want families to know about addiction?” As I pondered a response, I thought about the many family members whom I’ve counseled over the years. Then I offered this, “Addiction is not your fault!” This answer seems insufficient when you counsel parents, who through tears blame themselves for the painful circumstance of their loved one. If you have ever loved an addict, chances are you've had the same experience. You are not alone. Every day, alcoholism and drug addiction touch the lives of millions of families in the United States and around the globe. The statistics are startling. In the US, its prevalence ranges from some 14 to 25 million Americans. Globally, the World Health Organization estimates that 76.3 million people have some alcohol use disorder and 15.3 million, a drug use disorder. Additionally, for every alcoholic and drug addict, there are at least four others who are adversely affected by the addiction. Yet when we are educated about addiction, we can fully embrace the truth: Addiction is not your fault. Education and supportive help can come from attending support group meetings such as Al-Anon. Al-Anon meetings are part of a 12-Step program for friends and families of alcoholics. Through the process, you will realize that your loved one’s addiction is not your fault, and you will learn ways to care for yourself and discover a common thread with others. Family members will also gradually work to overcome the negative stigma surrounding addiction. Your own self-focused recovery is the premise of the group. Family members involved in Al-Anon are taught the three C’s: Cause, Control, and Cure. You did not cause the addiction. You cannot control it. You cannot cure it. However, you can gain the knowledge and courage to stop the vicious cycle. You can help your children and future generations learn about addiction. Genetic predisposition is at the center of addiction. Research indicates that addiction is a family disease passed on from generation to generation. Educating children about the facts of addiction can prevent them from falling into the vortex of despair that comes with the inevitable progression of addiction. Today, many young adult abusers feel they are gradually losing their minds--and their bodies. I have heard them ask, “Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over when it hurts so badly?” As families begin to learn about addiction, their own and other families can be spared of its pain in future generations. Claudia Black, author of It Will Never Happen to Me and other books on alcoholism and family systems, points out that certain rules often appear within addicted families. If you grew up in a dysfunctional home, perhaps you can relate. The rules are: Don’t talk. Don’t trust. Don’t feel. These hard-and-fast rules, developed both consciously and unconsciously, are often carried into adulthood and marriage, creating constant conflict and the inability to convey one's true feelings. Interventions are critical in breaking the downward spiral of substance abuse. But interventions only work when parents, spouses and others have the courage to positively confront and voice their concern about addiction. The Minnesota Institute of Public Health offers an informal process on confronting the problem. The See It, Say It: Six Steps process enables one to talk effectively about unhealthy, destructive behaviors. For more information, please visit: www.living-sober.net. Both informal and formal interventions have a proven track record of thwarting the progressive effects of continued substance abuse. These interventions are most successful if facilitated by professionally trained interventionists. The trained professional will direct each concerned family member, friend, employer and often a pastor in effectively sharing accurate facts and confronting the problem. This method is precise, factual, and revealing and may take weeks to perfect before a substance abuser is on the road to recovery and rehabilitation. The willingness of family and others participating in the intervention must remain constant and stable. For more information on this approach, visit www.interventioninfo.org. I was particularly moved by a friend’s successful, albeit painful, intervention story. “It was Christmas Eve,” she said. “As I sat in my usual place at the table, drinking wine, my husband entered, sat down a plastic laundry basket full of empty wine bottles, left the room and returned with a packed suitcase. He drove me to the airport and sent me away to a treatment center. That intervention saved my life; I got the help I needed and am living proof that intervening treatment works.” As we reflect on the enormous worldwide prevalence of addiction and the 2009 National Recovery Month theme, “Together We Learn, Together We Heal,” let us resolve to help reduce the stigma and shame an addict feels. Role of the Church in Supporting Families The church has the power to become a nurturing, supportive environment for individuals who have been hurt or are hurting from the effects of addiction. They need a safe place to share the truth about addiction, and the support of others who understand. United Methodist congregations are encouraged to launch alcohol-and-drug congregational team ministries to respond to substance abuse in their congregation and community. SPSARV, in partnership with Faith Partners, Inc., holds a two-part training in each US jurisdiction to help congregations create volunteer laity-led teams for the prevention and early intervention of alcohol-and-drug abuse and recovery support. For more information, visit www.umspsarv.org. Congregations can also start Families Anonymous groups in which they can begin the journey of understanding and healing. Family support can also be found through a pastor available to counsel individuals and their families struggling with addiction, and offer referrals to professionals in the community. Clergy can devote a Sunday during National Recovery Month (or any time) to preach a sermon based on 12-Step recovery and Bible verses, or invite a professional from the field of addiction or congregant in recovery to speak on a specific topic. In addition, a wonderful Scripture-based program for children called Kids Like Me teaches children skills to cope with their life circumstances in healthy and positive ways. This program could be extended to involve children in the community. The 12-week program helps children learn about addiction and break the cycle. For more information, visit www.ConfidentKids.com. The above suggestions help us uncover the held-too-long “family secret” and break the cycle of addiction. Learning is healing; healing is learning. And it is important to talk. The Rev. Cynthia W. Sloan is program associate at the General Board of Global Ministries/SPSARV. Resource: >>Articles on National Recovery Month Special Program on Substance Abuse and Related Violence (SPSARV) Since its inception in 1992, SPSARV has galvanized the United Methodist connection to respond to alcohol, other drug and related violence issues. While the general church has made substance abuse and related violence a priority, this global health epidemic continues to rise dramatically. The Church is and must continue to be at the forefront of responding to this global crisis. Worldwide, people in church pews are suffering silently because of their addiction or their loved one's addiction. They need their church community to be informed, compassionate and responsive to their needs. SPSARV represents the Church's commitment to replace the brokenness of the disease of addiction with the promise of God's hope, healing, health and wholeness. Join us in making a witness to God's promise. Your support will provide SPSARV with the resources for an effective churchwide response to alcohol, chemical abuse and dependency and its related violence. Give to Response to Alcohol and Other Drugs Concerns, Advance #982598, equipping United Methodists around the world to respond to alcohol, drugs, and related violence.
Date posted: Sep 09, 2009 |
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