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Face to Face

face to face
I stood by a calm pond,
in the midst of a summer day.
no breeze...
just still air.
The warmth of the sun on my back
as I stared into the water.
So many times I had
been here before.
no one but the
birds on the branch of a tree.
the frogs gently peeping
beside the calm pond.
and in a distance the rustling of small animals as they played.
as I had always been
staring at an empty pond.
or at least
what I thought was empty.
about my past
one day at a time.
thats great but sometimes
like today....
in the heat of the sun...
In the confusion of myself
one moment is all I can handle.
I look around and see nothing
there is beauty amongest me.
I stare silently into the water...
Who am I?
Why am I here?
My head full of questions.
A tear drops and makes a silent
splash in to the calm waters.
and yet another....
Then I realize that each tear has caused a ripple
a small ring surrounded by others and it continues
until finally it disappears
and what is left
if I look in the water
my reflection...
Thats who I am.
I am me.
even with a confused mind and tears.
I am me.
suddently a light breeze
picks up and
the silence is interrupted..
by a fish who jumps out of the water.
Life... In an instance.
can change.
I decided to stay for the change.
face to face.
face to face with myself.

jackie hartmann written 4/11/96


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