by Mary Louise Head
A thoughtful gaze upon a little child often leaves us wondering:
I remember my parents teaching my brothers and me in our earliest years to talk to God about the things that mattered: to bless those we loved, to help anyone in need, and to assist us in school, with our friends and with problems that arose. We were encouraged not only to pray in morning and at night, but to call upon God often during the day.
As I got older, I became curious about how other people prayed so began to read books by women and men who were known for their lives of prayer and close relationships with God. How did they develop a profound prayer life and deepen their relationships with their Creator?
In studying the writing and lives of these holy people, I discovered the thirst for greater union with God cannot happen without a sincere and constant prayer life through which you rid yourself of selfishness to make room for God in your life.
Thomas Merton advised that if you want a life of prayer, you must pray, and give prayer time. It is in prayer that we come to reflect on our choices.
"Come now, let us argue it out, says the Lord" (Isaiah 1:18). God’s invitation to plumb the depth of our hearts, to accept and embrace our limitations willingly, requires us to let go of hypocrisy, selfishness and vanity, and to stand humbly before a loving God who assures us that:
"All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted (Matthew 23:12).
In our struggle for holiness, we learn there are many paths to God. Each person must begin a pilgrimage to God on her or his own. There are maps and guides, and you should not fail to ask assistance of those you meet on the way, but it is the breath of the Spirit that carries you forward and onward. Each person’s journey to God is unique though there is a common thread on the path of prayer.
Stages of prayer
Spiritual writers note three stages of prayer that overlap. First, there is vocal prayer -- a prayer of the lips, with stress on words recited or sung. The text may already be written, and is often beautiful and inspiring. There is also spontaneous vocal prayer.
The second stage is meditative prayer. This prayer is centered in your mind, which pictures and ponders, reflects and thinks of the Creator God’s wonderful actions. Your mind seeks understanding and insight. In meditation, your lips are quiet and your mind is active.
Finally, there is contemplative prayer. This is prayer of your heart that reaches out to God’s presence. The lips and mind come to rest as you simply gaze at God as your heart reaches out and your will seeks to be one with your Creator.
In The Cloud of Unknowing, a 14th century treatise from the monastic tradition, contemplation is described as: "The awareness of God, known and loved at the core of one’s being."
When we seek this awareness and find it in faith, we speak of acquired contemplation. When God gives us the awareness in real experience, we speak of infused contemplation.
Compare vocal prayer to contemplative prayer. In vocal prayer, we say the words, "Our Father in heaven," but in contemplative prayer we go beyond words to an awareness of God’s presence deep within us, and we dwell in that presence.
If we compare meditative prayer to contemplative prayer, we find that instead of running over the truth reflectively, we come to a halt and gaze at the truth, awakening to God’s presence within. Meditation can be compared to the activity that goes into painting a picture. Contemplative prayer is then a quiet looking at the completed picture, seeing it as a whole, becoming aware of the reality of the artist’s vision it portrays.
In God’s presence
The most important element in prayer is placing ourselves in God’s presence. St. Theresa of Avila testified to the effectiveness of this and invited people to try to live in the presence of God for one year. She said at the end of the year, you would see yourself at the height of spiritual perfection without even knowing it.
The first definition of prayer I learned was, "Prayer is the lifting up of the heart and mind to God."
The impact of this concept did not penetrate until later. Whenever we pray, there must be a conscious shift of gears to pull ourselves out of activity and into the timeless. Prayer begins with being connected to God. We can think of God as our great friend alive in us here and now. The goal is to connect with and rest in God, not trying to learn anything, not trying to make progress in the spiritual life.
Return to Me, and I will return to you, says the Lord of hosts (Zechariah 1:3). How can we do this? Start by making time and space for God. In her book, Daily Prayers for Busy People, W.J. O’Malley says:
"We should ask ourselves: Is maintaining a relationship with God as important as a coffee break? As important as reading the newspaper? We need not give up coffee or the paper, but if God is a genuine priority in our life, a couple of things do not really have to be done `today or else.’"
We really can give God first priority.
Here are guidelines to help us in meditative and contemplative prayer:
To create your own prayer experience, try this:
God will lead us as God will. God’s faithfulness, goodness and love for us is endless.
The kingdom of God is among you (Luke 17:21).
Mary Louise Head is office manager for the Women’s Division New York City offices, division supervisor with the United Methodist General Board of Global Ministries Human Resources Department for Women’s Division support staff, and supervisor of operations and staff at Alma Mathews House in New York City, N.Y. Ms. Head is a member of the Adrian Dominican Congregation of Adrian, Mich.